The trap of perfectionism

If you check five or more items on this list, then you have a tendency toward perfectionism…

And if you do have a tendency toward perfectionism, you're not alone in this.

Did you know that roughly 92% of people struggle with perfectionism? It’s more common than you might think and can be really tough to deal with.

Terri Cole, a psychotherapist, relationship expert and author of Boundary Boss, explains that perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence — it’s the relentless belief that you and others must do everything perfectly.

And guess what? This thinking is detrimental to our well-being and can be a fast-track to unhappiness.

So how do we start to shift out of the perfectionist mindset?

It starts with awareness and noticing when you’re holding yourself (and/or others) to unrealistic standards. Ask yourself:

What am I expecting from myself or others right now?

Is this expectation achievable?

Am I focusing on the outcome, or valuing the effort and process?

Once there's consistent awareness, we can start breaking free from perfectionism, but it's not an easy, quick fix. It takes constant attention, effort, compassion, and love.

Here are a few steps that can help you start breaking free from perfectionism:

Challenge Your Standards: Are your standards truly necessary, or are they influenced by external pressures?

Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Celebrate small wins and progress, rather than fixating on flaws.

Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that mistakes are part of growth. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.

Embrace Imperfection: Accept that it’s okay to be imperfect and that you don’t need to have everything figured out.

Seek Support: If perfectionism is impacting your well-being, consider talking to a therapist for guidance and support.

Remember, you’re worthy of love and acceptance just as you are (and as others are too) and none of us were put on this planet to be perfect. We're here for learning, growth, and connection - not perfection.