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this week's insight - what it means to really listen
Listening this week 🎧: Like Real People Do
I had a conversation this week that I didn’t want to be in.
It was frustrating — one of those meandering, emotionally charged moments where it felt like nothing useful was being said. I caught myself checking out, visibly showing my annoyance, feeling that familiar pull: “This isn’t helpful. This isn’t nourishing. I need to get out.”
There was something I couldn’t quite bring myself to do in that moment — something that might have helped everyone involved: to simply listen. Not to fix anything. Not to perform empathy. Just… to listen. Fully. Without interrupting, drifting, or rushing toward resolution.
And somewhere in that quiet decision, something shifted — not in the other person, but in me.
At rooh, we often talk about tuning into yourself: self-awareness, intuition, healing. But tuning in to others — their tone, fears, uncertainties, and stories — is just as essential to our well-being. When we practice active listening, we’re not just improving our relationships; we’re cultivating presence, patience, and a kind of openness that softens the space between us and the world.
This week, we’re exploring what it means to really listen — and why it matters more than we think.
“Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply listen without judgment or interruption.”
Mark Goulston
Meet Dr. Mark Goulston — psychiatrist, former FBI negotiation trainer, and author of Just Listen. He champions a practice he calls “Surgical Empathy”: a listening-first approach that meets people exactly where they are, without rushing in to fix or advise.
One of his most powerful tools is the “Five Reallys” technique — a simple, empathetic way to gently uncover what’s beneath the surface. It starts with a question like:
“I understand that... but what’s really going on?”
Goulston teaches that with each gentle nudge toward deeper honesty, people often discover something they didn’t know they were holding — emotion, clarity, even calm. His work is a reminder that long before we need answers, what we often need most is to feel heard. And sometimes, silence speaks louder than any advice ever could.
Reconnecting with Your 'Why'
In just five simple steps, you can activate presence and empathy — no special training required:
Choose a brief interaction — a check-in, quick chat, or even a text exchange.
As you listen, tune in fully — not just to the words, but to the tone and underlying emotion.
Pause, then reflect back with curiosity:
Try, “It sounds like you’re feeling ___” or “What I’m hearing is ___. Is that right?”Let them confirm or clarify — this is where real understanding begins.
Allow a moment of silence before responding again. Let the space do some of the work.
Why does this matter? Because research shows that when people feel truly heard, their brain’s reward center lights up. They feel seen, understood, and more connected — and that sense of belonging starts to ripple outward.
Every week in this section, we usually offer ways to turn these reflections into long-term practices. But this time, we’d love to pause and ask:
How are you feeling about rooh’s newsletters?
Are they landing? Are they resonating with you?
If they are, we’d be so grateful if you shared them with a friend or loved one who might benefit. We’re trying to grow something meaningful here — and word of mouth from thoughtful readers like you makes all the difference.
And remember: active listening isn’t just a technique — it’s a way of being. It begins with presence.
So thank you for being here, for listening, and for letting us be part of your week.
 | Sadhguru: |
 | Melinda French Gates: |
 | Lewis Howes: |
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