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no man's land - what the heck is it?
Current background noise 🎧: A Short History of the World
I grew up playing tennis, daily. Any tennis player knows that the sport, like most others, is all about stamina and positioning. Having perfect technique means little if you can’t sustain your energy throughout a match or if you find yourself out of position on the court. One concept every tennis player learns early is avoiding “no man’s land.”
It’s that awkward area on a tennis court where you’re neither at the baseline nor at the service line, you’re just caught in this wide space between both. As any coach will tell you, it’s the most vulnerable position on the court. Your opponent can hit a long-range short and you’ll be too far up to receive it, or they can drop a shot super close to the net that leaves you sprinting for it.
During a recent conversation, I realized how this concept from my days playing tennis kinda mirrors moments in life. The moment when you feel caught between decisions, the moment where we find ourselves in transition, when we don’t know where to position ourselves best, or where we’re caught with where we were and where we’re heading.
This feeling of being caught in-between - not quite where you were but not yet where you're going - is what experts call a "liminal space." It's that uncomfortable threshold between what was and what will be. And while in tennis, no man's land is a position to avoid, in life these transitional moments often become the exact spaces where we can grow and become better.
“We stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. What will we create for those who come after us?.”
- Alan Seale
Alan Seale is an award-winning author, leadership coach, and founder of the Center for Transformational Presence who specializes in helping people navigate life's transitional moments. He describes liminal spaces as "crossing over" spaces where "you have left something behind, yet you are not yet fully in something else" - much like tennis's no man's land.
What makes Seale's approach valuable is his recognition that these transitions aren't just momentary but can "exist as a much longer space-time continuum—for days, weeks, or months." Seale teaches that life's in-between spaces are beneficial as they create room for us to reframe and transform to our next stage.
In tennis, when you're caught in no man's land, having a good ready position can save you. Try this mental ready position when you need it!
Pause - take 3 deep breaths and acknowledge the in-between space you’re in.
Name - identify an aspect of where you are that feels the most uncomfortable.
Reframe - Alan Seale says that these liminal spaces become “turning points” in our lives. How is this feeling of discomfort pointing you towards growth?
Engage - Start to act on the feeling that you’re stuck or you’re transitioning with one small action.
The entire process takes just two minutes but can change your relationship with the in-between space you're navigating.
Rather than trying to escape your liminal space, try something counterintuitive:
Map Your Threshold: Take a blank piece of paper and draw out your current "no man's land." On the left side, write what you've left behind. On the right, sketch what possibilities might be emerging (even if you’re not sure). In the middle—your current in-between position—write down what unique perspectives you can only see from this vantage point. What insights are available to you precisely because you're neither here nor there?
Instead of "How do I get out of this?", try "What is this transition teaching me that I couldn't learn any other way?" or "What can I see from the middle that I couldn't see from either end of the court?"
The power of liminal spaces isn't in escaping them quickly but in recognizing their value. It seems possible that your current threshold position could offer a broader perspective than either your past or future positions ever could.
Remember: In tennis, no man's land is temporary. In life, your liminal space will also give way to what's next—but not before offering its own unique gifts.
 | Gabby Bernstein: |
 | Tamsen Fadal: How to MenopauseJoin Emmy award-winning journalist, documentary filmmaker, Tamsen Fadal for an enlightening in-person discussion about her new book, “How to Menopause.” Tamsen will share insights from her book, which is packed with actionable steps and evidence-based tools from a team of 42 experts. From managing symptoms to advocating for yourself in the medical system, embracing your evolving style, and navigating menopause in the workplace, this event will cover it all. Don’t miss this opportunity to join a conversation with other women in your community and learn how to embrace a stronger self at every stage of midlife. May 20th | |
 | Marisa G Franco: |
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